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HELHEIM SCANS
[Translator - Prøks]
[Proofreader - Prøks]
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Chapter 160: SLAP!
"Seriously, Commander? Are you going to hog all the fun for yourself?"
"If you're upset about it, get stronger. You're always complaining."
As I prepared to flick his forehead, Zion grumbled with a dissatisfied voice.
"Then let us have a taste too. Just a little chase, like flushing out a rabbit."
"Shut up."
"You shut up, Commander!"
"Want to fight about it?"
"Bring it on, you bastard!"
"How dare you curse at your Commander?!"
"You shut up, you fatso!"
"I told you not to call me fat!"
"You said not to call you a pig, not fat, you idiot."
"Zion's like a sneaky little rabbit."
"What? A rabbit?"
"I feel like running."
Fwoosh—
'Let's run, then.'
At Makan's signal, the squad members bolted out of the tavern all at once.
"Number them as they go!"
"One, two, three, four!"
Suddenly, an organized chase erupted in the back alleys of the city.
Amidst the chaos, a man peeked out from an alley to see what all the commotion was about. Our eyes met.
"Care to join us? Running together is even more fun."
The man, locking eyes with me, muttered "Damn it!" under his breath before darting off to the left at full speed.
I admired his swift retreat.
"...He's quick on his feet."
My subordinates immediately took off after him, disappearing into the alley.
I sat down cross-legged, closed my eyes, and began meditating.
As I opened my circle and expanded my senses, various sounds filled my ears.
Thud. Crash. Boom. Huff—ah. Smack. Crackle. Slap.
'Hmm...'
I wondered if his quick thinking would ultimately be a blessing or a curse for him.
Moments later, I opened my eyes and looked toward the end of the alley.
A man I'd never seen before approached and knelt in front of me.
"Who are you?"
"...P-please, spare me."
"Wow, I almost didn't recognize you."
I stared at him and asked, "Have you seen my subordinates by any chance?"
"They're gone. They said if I didn't come back here, they'd kill me..."
I nodded, satisfied.
It seemed my relentless squad had finished their game of "rabbit hunting" and already left for the city center.
The man's appearance was strikingly bizarre.
His forehead was swollen from countless flicks, his cheeks covered in red handprints, and his hair was sticking out wildly, like a mess of spikes.
His face was so puffed up it resembled a steamed bun.
"You steamed-bun-faced fool. Lead the way."
"...Where to, exactly?"
"Ha—ah."
WHACK—! With a resounding slap, the steamed bun man tumbled backward, rolled once, and passed out.
Only then did I notice the state of his back.
The seat of his pants was torn, exposing his right buttock, which was swollen and bright red.
I channeled water energy into my hands and began striking his left buttock with sharp slaps.
SLAP! SLAP! SLAP!
"Aughh!"
Sensing mortal danger, the man shot up and began walking somewhere, his steps unsteady.
In that fleeting moment, I caught a glimpse of his face—his eyes were unfocused.
Sometimes, instinct overpowers reason.
I followed him at a leisurely pace.
***
The man eventually stopped in an alley packed with rows of identical houses, crammed tightly together.
He knocked on the gate of one, and a small rectangular slot opened in the center, revealing a pair of eyes from within.
"Who’s there?"
"It’s me, Brick."
"What?"
A moment later, the gate creaked open, and a man, who appeared to be from the Sahwa Party, stepped out.
"Brick? What happened to your face?"
As I stepped out from behind him, the man flinched and stared at me intently.
"Who are you?"
"It’s been a while."
Looking closer, I recognized him.
He was one of the two Sahwa Party members who had escaped from the weasel gang.
As our eyes locked, the man suddenly turned and shouted toward the interior of the house.
"Emergency!"
With a flurry of footsteps, three Sahwa Party members dashed out.
"Crazy Mage Squad Commander? What business do you have with the Sahwa Party?"
"Plenty. Revenge, finding the Black Otter, collecting what I’m owed… Oh, and—"
"Wait a moment!"
Before I could finish speaking, the men retreated inside and slammed the gate shut with a loud bang.
"Such impolite bastards."
I opened the mana circle of my heart and summoned wind energy to my right hand.
Pointing my fingers at the gate, I fired a flurry of sharp wind blades.
Drrrrrrr—! Boom!
The gate, riddled with holes, became ragged and tattered.
With one kick, I burst through and stepped inside, exclaiming in amazement.
"Wow, nicely done."
From the outside, the building had appeared shabby, but the interior was surprisingly spacious and comfortable, like the secret villa of a nouveau riche.
Oddly, there wasn’t a single Sahwa Party member in sight.
I glanced at the staircase in front of me, then shifted my gaze upward toward the ceiling.
Extending my sensory field, I caught faint voices coming from above.
"…What should we do?"
"Wait."
"Should we ambush him?"
"Don't make a fuss. He's here to negotiate anyway. What he wants is money. If he has any sense, he won't do anything reckless."
I raised both hands above my head.
Multiple magic manifestation, Wind Spear.
After spreading about twenty wind spears wide, I launched them simultaneously overhead.
Tatatatatatang—!
Holes were riddled in the ceiling, and screams erupted from above.
"Wh-what the...? Gah!"
"It's him!"
"Crazy!"
Suddenly enraged, I clasped my hands together and aimed at the ceiling again.
'Penetration, Piercing Wind.'
With tremendous speed, it pierced through the ceiling, creating a large hole in the center, and the building began to shake.
Doodoodoodoo—!
'Crack, Earth Break.'
The ground vibrated intensely, and cracks spread throughout the entire building.
"E-earthquake!"
The ceiling collapsed, and a crowd of people from the upper floor fell straight down to the first floor.
With my barrier in place, I watched for a moment as they rained down like falling leaves.
Timber, furniture, humans, toilets, weapons—everything fell, turning the place into chaos in an instant.
After a moment of pandemonium, the Sahwa Party members who had regained their senses formed ranks and glared at me.
"What is the meaning of this madness?!"
Fifteen Sahwa Party members.
The one at the front was wearing a red lion mask.
I pointed at the lion mask and said,
"Do you know how an ant feels when its house collapses?"
"...What?"
"What."
"What is the meaning of this, Crazy Mage Squad Commander! We have done nothing wrong to you. Why are you doing this?"
The lion mask, surprisingly, had strong self-control.
He felt different from yesterday.
But this wasn't just simple self-control.
It was a typical example of the strong preying on the weak.
This was the kind of person who could be endlessly cruel to the weak and endlessly rational to the strong.
"Fine. If you want to talk, I'll ask first."
"...Speak."
"Bring me my money."
"Money?"
The lion mask suddenly groaned and looked around without a word. He sighed at the sight of the collapsed debris and said,
"You caused all this destruction over a few gold coins?"
"If you have any other wrongdoings, confess them now."
When there was no answer, I asked again,
"Who ordered you to kill me?"
The lion mask sighed once more and shook his head.
"...Now I see you had no intention of talking from the beginning."
Simultaneously, the fifteen Sahwa Party members drew their blades and began to surround me.
Crude 3rd and 4th-grade mana cores surged forth all at once.
"Tsk."
I also picked up a broken piece of wooden frame that was rolling around on the floor and snapped it in two.
A wooden stick with a sharp end and nails sticking out.
At a signal from the lion mask, the party members all rushed at me at once.
Just before one of their blades could reach me...
...the one who had swung it was flung backward, spewing a fountain of blood as the wooden stick pierced his chest.
Fwhoooosh—!
"Aaaargh!"
In that split second, as everyone's eyes were fixed on the gruesome sight...
...I, having already manifested multiple magic spells to match their numbers, scattered fire spears in all directions.
Whoosh—! Boom!
There was no way their crude mana cores could block my fire spears.
In an instant, most of the Sahwa Party members were sprawled on the floor. I charged toward the two who had managed to block the fire spears relatively unscathed.
I grabbed one's right hand as if shaking it and, with a surge of wind pressure, flung him towards the opposite side.
With a crack, his shoulder dislocated, and he flew through a first-floor window and out onto the street.
Crash—!
Immediately, I ducked, dodging a blade that grazed my throat.
I grabbed the lion mask by the neck, looked him in the eye, and said,
"Bring me the ledger."
"...Ugh!"
I increased the pressure on his neck.
"Ugh... Ledger? There's no such thing."
I looked around at the fallen men.
Some unlucky ones had been impaled by the collapsed metal debris and were screaming in agony.
"Hey guys. No ledger?"
"..."
I turned back to the lion mask, and with lightning speed, I lifted his mask to see his face.
Gloomy eyes. The Black Otter.
"Holy shit, it was you?"
"...Ugh."
It wasn't him.
The skill with which someone had hidden a blade behind Chano's back to assassinate me in the demon realm wasn't this clumsy.
I searched the Otter's body and pulled out a bundle of bills, asking,
"Where's the real Red Lion Mask?"
"..."
"I know everything. Where is he? Did he run away?"
"..."
"Otter. I'll only ask three times. Where's the ledger?"
"...What ledger? It's not too late... Cough!"
I tightened my grip on the Otter's neck and twisted it to the right.
Crack—
I let go of the limp Otter and looked around.
The fallen men suddenly jumped up and frantically began searching through the debris.
After a while of searching, one of them cautiously raised his hand.
"Um, excuse me, but we don't know what ledger you're talking about."
As I slowly approached him, he suddenly pointed his finger at a spot.
A small safe, unscathed amidst the pile of collapsed debris.
I had a feeling, instinctively.
"Open it."
The guy with the greatsword struck the lock hard, but the teeth of the blade bounced off.
The other party members gathered, opened their cores, and started hitting the lock with their weapons, but still, there wasn't a single scratch on it.
"Move aside."
After checking the material of the safe and the lock, I pulled out the Red Dagger from my waist.
I opened my circle, channeled yin dimension mana into it, and swung hard at the lock of the safe.
Clang—
The lock shattered...
...and I took out the piece of paper inside and glanced at it. Then I looked around.
I bid farewell to the underlings who were staring at me with fearful eyes.
"Reform yourselves."
As I went out through the collapsed debris, I saw the Sahwa Party executive I had thrown out the window lying sprawled on the ground with a broken neck.
After taking a few steps, I turned around and looked at the building I had just come out of.
I hurled a Fireball at the collapsed building.
Whoosh—
The building went up in flames, and screams came from inside.
I said goodbye once again.
"Reform yourselves."
***
Dark night.
I arrived in front of the regular branch office and looked up.
Seeing light spilling from a corner on the second floor, I went straight in.
"It's past curfew... Oh? Crazy Mage Squad Commander?"
The guard at the entrance recognized me and widened his eyes.
"What brings you here at this hour?"
"I have an appointment with the manager."
"Which manager...?"
"Porter."
The guard tilted his head slightly, then seemed to realize something and nodded.
"Ah, I see. So that's why Manager Porter hasn't left work yet. It makes sense if he has an appointment with the Crazy Mage Squad Commander. Haha."
"Can I go up?"
"Please, go ahead. He'll be waiting."
When I went up to the second floor, I saw light leaking from inside the office.
I walked straight over and opened the door.
"Who dares enter without knocking at this hour... Crazy Mage Squad Commander?"
I said nothing, locked the latch on the door, and looked at Porter.
Porter, who had been busy working on something, looked me up and down with a dumbfounded expression.
"What's going on? What brings you here at this hour?"
I responded informally,
"I came because I had something to do."
Porter tilted his head for a moment, then nodded with a relieved expression.
"Actually, I was about to ask to meet you. Sigh, the new branch manager is driving me crazy. What in the world happened in the demon realm? I can't figure it out no matter how much I look into it."
Porter no longer spoke to me informally. Instead, he started using an ambiguous tone that was neither fully respectful nor disrespectful.
I pointed at Porter and slowly approached him.
"Why did the cleaner...?"
Porter cut me off with a hearty laugh.
"Ah, yes, yes. The cleaner. You came because of that, right? Of course. The Crazy Mage Squad should be the cleaners, indeed. I'll have those Sahwa Party bastards all replaced and the work entrusted to the Crazy Mage Squad. Of course, I'll adjust the shares accordingly."
I slapped the smiling Porter across the face.
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HELHEIM SCANS
[Translator - Prøks]
[Proofreader - Prøks]
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