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HEL SCANS
[Translator – Angel Dust]
[Proofreader – ChiSync]
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Chapter 1
There are always those idiots. The ones who confess to their peers and then run off to join the military when rejected.
Honestly, it just doesn’t make sense. It’s not like they were in a relationship and got dumped, so why take it so seriously?
And to top it off, enlisting right after starting the academy because of a rejection? What a complete idiot.
‘But that idiot is me! Fuck!’
[Sorry, Karl. You’re a nice guy and all, but I just don’t see you that way.]
In the past, he managed to confess and got rejected within a month of starting the academy. And it happened in front of everyone, too.
What kind of confidence did he have back then? Did someone spike his lunch with drugs or something?
[I’m really sorry. I hope I didn’t make things awkward for you.]
Then there was the male ego again; he simply said, “Okay!” and walked away.
And then? He immediately applied for a leave of absence. Just a month after starting the academy. Crazy bastard.
But the next part is even more legendary. He suddenly applied for military service without telling his family.
It’s funny enough when a noble voluntarily enlists, not even as an officer but as a regular soldier.
Even up to this point, it was already a ridiculous mess, but what happened next was truly incredible.
His enlistment into the military was accepted with a ‘Oh, look at that!’ at the Empire’s Ministry of Council.
-A noble who volunteered as a private? This has to have some juicy story behind it, right?!
A noble scion setting an example by enlisting as a soldier!
This is the class of the Empire! Huh?! Do you see it, you bunch of maggots?!
…Admittedly, it was a topic that could turn heads in the news department.
Anyway, that’s how I went from being a high-ranking noble to a lowly soldier.
Naturally, from the first day I moved into the unit, I was met with glares and suspicion.
“Ah, fuck. We were happy when we heard a new recruit was coming, but they sent a noble?”
“Hey. Is this possibly an officer transferred in disguise?”
“Seriously, a shitty recruit had to join us at the end of our military service.”
And before even getting to know the names of my seniors, war broke out and I was immediately deployed to the battlefield. And there I was, rolling in the mud like a dog, enduring three years of hell.
I really wanted to strangle that past me if I could. Ah, why do I keep using the term ‘past me’?
After getting hit by a magical bombardment and flying away, I hit my head on a rock, and that’s when memories of my past life came flooding back.
The me from my past life was just a guy living on Earth, and this world is the setting of the books I used to read back then.
‘But of all things, it just had to be a shitty web novel, not even a classic or sci-fi.’
Crazy bastard. If I had to really read something, how great would it have been if it were about hypnotizing girls and seducing them.
If not that, then I wouldn’t mind reading about some distant chicken shooting beams while flying through the air.
But of all things, it had to be a romance fantasy. And of all things, I had to be neither the protagonist nor a supporting character, just a total loser among losers.
And undoubtedly, of all things, I had to be assigned the role of confessing to the female lead and getting rejected right at the beginning.
Clearly, whether viewed from afar or up close, my life was a tragedy.
“Hey!”
“Oh, yes, senior.”
“Are you just sitting there dozing off while drinking coffee? What did you do in the military?”
What coffee in the military? I was not even an officer, just a lowly soldier.
If I dared to say I wanted some coffee, I’d probably get a swift kick to the back of my head.
At that point, I was no longer a noble scion! Just a fledgling chick! And being a private first class brat was a bonus.
“But still, you managed to come back in one piece.”
As senior Marcus put it, I did come back relatively unscathed.
Not like some others who might have come back missing limbs or worse.
“Was military life bearable?”
“What are you saying? It was fucking awful.”
“Ah, I see. You sound like you’ve been through some real military stuff. Do you like being an officer?”
Damn it. Do I have to explain this from the beginning again?
“I didn’t enlist as an officer, senior.”
“Huh?”
“I enlisted as a soldier.”
An awkward silence fell between me and senior Marcus at that moment.
Now, let me predict the next words as someone who remembers my past life!
It’ll probably be something like ‘What the hell is wrong with this idiot?’
“What the hell is wrong with this idiot? Are you kidding me right now?”
Yep. Got it right.
“Unfortunately, I’m not kidding.”
“…If that’s the truth, then either you’re crazy, or really crazy. There’s no other way to see it.”
What’s the point of calling me crazy twice and then asking me to pick one? It’d be better to say they’re either crazy or less crazy, or something like that.
“Did you really enlist as a soldier?”
“Yes.”
“A noble’s descendant?”
“Yes.”
“And you went to the battlefield too?”
“That’s right.”
As I nodded while sipping my coffee, senior sighed.
The expression on his face was like, ‘There are all kinds of lunatics out there, huh?’ It reminded me of the professor earlier.
“…Did you hit your head or something?”
“I actually did, from magical bombardment on the battlefield.”
“This brat, is he crazy?”
It was almost an outright insult, and I couldn’t argue back. It was just too sad.
Past me. What on earth were you thinking when you applied to enlist as a soldier? You moron.
“So, what did you do as a soldier?”
“What do you think? Just the usual soldier stuff.”
“You said you went to the battlefield. Did you at least give those elves, the Lycans, some trouble?”
Give them trouble? Our unit was thoroughly defeated, including even our spirits.
“…Yes. Well, maybe we did give them some trouble.”
“What? You said you were a soldier, but you didn’t even fight properly?”
“I just rescued a few comrades and that’s it, forget about the battles. Okay?”
At that, senior Marcus muttered, ‘Disappointing! Thought you were a hero in the making!’ under his breath.
This guy. What a shitty place the battlefield was. Those who brag about being heroes end up dead in an instant!
“Senior, let’s stop this conversation. It’s very rude to talk about military affairs in front of someone who was recently discharged.”
“Are you in a position to say that, someone who enlisted as a soldier despite being a noble?”
“But still, I wasn’t just discharged as a soldier. I was promoted to sergeant. I’m a non-commissioned officer now.”
“Big deal. A friend of mine, three years younger than you, is already a lieutenant.”
After sipping his coffee, the senior spoke.
“So, why did you ask me to come to your office?”
I want to slap myself for asking that now.
“I found the story of a fool enlisting as a soldier too amusing, that’s all.”
Stop! Enough! Please!
“Well, actually, I was planning on returning to the academy next year, but my schedule got messed up, so I’ll be returning in the second semester.”
“Come to think of it, did you really mix up the dates?”
“It’s not that, it’s just really how things ended up happening.”
Here, another sorrowful legend is hidden.
I clearly said I would return to school next year. I said it like that.
Whatever miscommunication happened, the academy immediately approved it.
Yeah. So, it’s not next year, but I’m returning this semester.
What a mess.
The female student who slapped the past me, the heroine of the romance novel.
She’s still in the academy. In her last semester of the fourth year.
“I thought you were going to confess to her again.”
“…Senior, do you know why the saying ‘the pen is mightier than the sword’ exists?”
I say, grabbing the pen on the desk, and the senior immediately surrenders.
Be careful. If you dig up someone’s dark past, what happens? They become an unstoppable gangster with no end.
“Anyway, my fellow classmate. I’m curious about what classes you’re taking.”
“Hey, even if you’re an Assistant Professor, you can’t just ask anyone what classes the said students are taking.”
“It might get awkward if we run into each other, especially with Selena.”
“Well, I have to tell you. Especially about Selena. Just wait!”
Selena Ifrit.
The ultimate beauty.
The female lead in the novel.
And the girl who rejected me in the past.
I definitely didn’t want to run into her again. If I do, I might die of embarrassment.
“Oh, but just in case, you won’t confess to her again, right?”
Hahaha. I grabbed the pen from the desk and pointed it at the senior. Luckily, the pen was capped. If it hadn’t been, it would’ve been attempted murder.
* * *
“Sir, here’s the list of recipients for this year’s Medals of Honor.”
The Medal of Honor. A badge only awarded to the heroes of the Imperial Army. From commanders to frontline soldiers, once you receive it, you receive tremendous honors. Invitations to royal events are sent out, and everyone except the Emperor himself salutes you. Not only you, but your family also receives the utmost hospitality.
But in return, it’s equally challenging. Crossing the threshold of the afterlife is practically a given. You might even have to chit-chat with the Grim Reaper for a while to receive it.
“We plan to select one of these four.”
“Hmm.”
The Defense Minister, taking the report, looked at it for a moment before nodding.
“No. Give all four the Medal of Honor, and redo the ceremony.”
“What? Why is that? They all have proven expertise in their field and unwavering loyalty to the Empire.”
“I know. I know, but we need something else. The war is over now.”
At the Minister’s words, the adjutant who brought the report sighed.
“How many did they kill? Of course, that’s important too. But the criteria for the Medal of Honor are how many of the Empire’s soldiers they saved. That’s what matters. That’s the order that came from above.”
When the Defense Minister referred to ‘from above,’ there was only one place he could’ve meant.
The adjutant simply sighed and nodded in agreement.
“But, Sir, the criteria for saving our allies are too ambiguous.”
“Most of it was done as part of operations under the commander’s orders. But still, isn’t there something else? There was a rumor going around last time. Heard that a soldier saved an entire platoon.”
“To be honest, it doesn’t make sense. How can one person save over a hundred?”
Well, it’s true.
The Defense Minister lit a cigar.
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HEL SCANS
[Translator – Angel Dust]
[Proofreader – ChiSync]
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