Report
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HELHEIM SCANS
[Translator - Peptobismol]
[Proofreader - Demon God]
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Chapter 42 - Go Back, Claire. There’s Nothing I Can Do for You
There’s a saying about crocodile tears.
It’s said that when a crocodile catches and devours a person, it sheds tears for the ones it has killed. Tears shed for the very ones it has consumed.
"I… I mean, Lee Han… I-I missed you so much."
The reason those words came to mind as Lloyd watched Claire’s tears was simple: those tears didn’t resonate with him.
It’s said that crocodiles do indeed cry when they eat their prey.
Apparently, the nerves that control their jaw movements and tear ducts are closely connected.
So, when they chew, tears flow automatically.
"Sob… I’m so glad I could see you. No, thank you for meeting me."
Claire couldn’t hold back her tears any longer and let them flow freely.
These weren’t the tears of the Claire he once knew.
In the over ten years Lloyd had spent with her, he had never seen Claire cry this much.
She had always been cool-headed, forward-thinking, and calculating.
But now, she lay there, exhausted.
As if she had lost all her sharp fangs.
'Crocodile tears.'
Therefore, Claire’s tears weren’t crocodile tears.
If she had cried when she killed Lee Han, when her fangs were still sharp, those would have been crocodile tears.
But she probably laughed instead.
After Lee Han’s death, she had risen to the position of a hero and seized the opportunity to explosively grow her trading company.
She must have been happy.
In fact, that joy was something Lloyd could understand—the same joy he felt when his political maneuvering succeeded, and he got what he wanted.
And now, seeing Claire cry only after her fangs had dulled…
'It’s hard to sympathize.'
Lloyd spoke coldly.
"Claire."
"L-Lee Han."
"I don’t go by that name anymore."
"Then…?"
"Lloyd. That’s my name now."
"B-but… I’ve always called you Lee Han… Hic."
"Yeah, I guess you did."
That was all in the past.
And there had been a death in between.
Lloyd was calm, while Claire was incoherent.
"You know, even this tea reminded me of when you used to make it for us. Back when we were in the Hero Party, you made this tea every night when we couldn’t sleep. So, as soon as I tasted it, I knew it was you, Lee Han. Because it’s the taste I remember so fondly."
"Is that so?"
"Yeah. I never said it, but I really loved this tea."
Claire took another sip from her cup.
It was made from the evening primrose that only grew on the continent’s plains.
It had a calming effect, helping to relax the body and mind.
Whenever the Hero Party members were anxious, Lloyd had always comforted them with this tea.
"I just wanted you all to be in the best condition possible."
"...Really, you always took such good care of us, Lee Han."
"It wasn’t just skill that we needed to defeat the Demon King. Condition, atmosphere, confidence—everything mattered."
"Yeah. Everyone knew how much effort you put in."
From the strategies to defeat the Demon King to taking care of the team members, Lloyd had taken on everything to lead the Hero Party.
As he recalled the past, Lloyd spoke nonchalantly.
"Well, I don’t regret it. Thanks to that, we were able to defeat the Demon King. Even if everything after that turned into a complete mess."
"Th-that’s… that was…"
Claire’s lips trembled.
Lloyd took another sip of his tea.
It was, indeed, evening primrose tea. It calmed his mind quickly.
He didn’t regret taking care of them so diligently.
It was something that had to be done to defeat the Demon King.
He was only disappointed in himself for trusting people too much.
That was the extent of his feelings. At least, up until now.
"Lee… Lee Han."
Claire hesitated, then carefully opened her mouth.
Even though he had told her his name had changed, she still called him whatever she wanted. That was just like Claire.
She had called him that since they were young, so it was probably hard for her to break the habit.
"I… uh… I’m sick."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. The doctor says it’s something like Mana Sensitivity Syndrome, an incurable disease."
Mana Sensitivity Syndrome, huh?
He had heard of the condition in passing before.
"It’s important to find someone who can stabilize your mana."
Lloyd listed off what he knew.
But Claire seemed to mistake this for concern.
Her expression brightened, and she even seemed to regain a bit of her forgotten confidence as she spoke.
"That’s right. I think I’ve found that person."
"Really? Congratulations."
Lloyd’s calm response.
Claire, somewhat flustered, asked,
"Aren’t you going to ask who it is?"
"Claire, you’re the kind of person who takes good care of yourself. We’re not in the same party anymore. We’re not even friends."
"Ah…"
The confidence she had just regained seemed to dissolve, and Claire’s gaze fell back to the table.
"Y-yeah. You’re right. But…"
Gulp.
Claire swallowed hard, as if steeling herself.
Then, she lifted her head to look at him.
"I think… it’s you. The reason I’ve been stable all this time. The reason I didn’t even know I had Mana Sensitivity Syndrome. And when I think about the time we’ve been apart… it all adds up to one answer."
Her gaze fell again.
All her confidence and sharpness melted away, leaving only a toothless crocodile biting her lip, head bowed.
"L-Lee Han. I can only calm my mana when I’m near you. I… I didn’t realize it. I was just so ignorant. I guess I took you for granted, like a fool. I really was stupid to take such good fortune for granted."
It made sense.
Mana Sensitivity Syndrome was a congenital disease.
The reason her symptoms hadn’t appeared was likely because he had always been by her side.
Enough years had passed since Lloyd’s death for her condition to worsen.
Claire mumbled as if confessing her sins.
"That’s right. I think I took you for granted. You were always there for me. You helped me when I struggled, gave me advice, and even handled difficult tasks on my behalf. I always thought I was so smart, but it wasn’t that—I just looked smart because you were there. And yet, I was too foolish to realize that, just too full of myself… I was the real fool, the idiot."
Creak.
Her clenched fist began to turn white.
Even so, Claire didn’t release her grip.
Her hand, pale and now trembling uncontrollably.
Her lower lip, bitten hard as if to hold something back, was already bleeding, with droplets of blood falling onto the table.
It would be nice if it didn’t stain.
As he entertained this thought, Claire managed to speak.
"I-I’m sorry, Lee Han. I was wrong. I’m sorry for acting like a fool. I’m sorry for not recognizing your sincerity. I’m sorry for not paying more attention to you. I’m sorry for everything…"
Drip.
Tears mingled with the blood that had already fallen onto the table.
"I’m sorry… I’m so sorry."
Claire repeated those words like a broken machine.
Her shaking shoulders.
Her hair plastered to her head.
If this were back in the days of the Hero Party, Lloyd might have wrapped an arm around her shoulders and comforted her.
But now, for some reason, she just looked like a robot or a mannequin to him.
There was no urge to comfort her, no desire to do anything.
"Clean that up."
Lloyd handed her a handkerchief.
He also wiped the table that had begun to stain.
Even though Claire still couldn’t control her emotions, her feelings didn’t reach him.
Instead, only her reason for coming to visit remained.
"In any case, since you’re here to make a request, I assume it’s to stabilize your Mana Sensitivity Syndrome?"
His tone was completely businesslike.
Claire lifted her head, her eyes brimming with chicken-scratch tears.
"N-no. It’s not that…"
"Then why did you come to see me? You must have had some goal in mind. Some benefit you wanted to secure."
"I… I really wanted to see you. It’s not just something I’m saying. I mean it, really."
"Hmm."
Lloyd tapped the table with his fingers.
"Sorry, but I didn’t really feel the same way."
"H-hic!"
Claire’s expression crumbled instantly.
Lloyd couldn’t bring himself to believe in her behavior.
"And I thought it was the same for you. You’re a smart girl, Claire."
"No, I’m stupid…"
"Listen carefully, Claire. I’m asking this out of curiosity, not because I’m holding a grudge. When you sent me to the execution stage, didn’t you carefully calculate and predict how the future would turn out?"
"Th-that’s…"
Claire’s tears began to dry up.
Whether it was because she had run out of tears or because her mind was racing, Lloyd couldn’t tell, but it didn’t matter.
To be honest, he was disappointed.
"Claire. I was hoping that the person who came to find me would still be smart. If you were cold enough to make the decision to get rid of me, you should have used that as a foundation to move forward successfully."
"N-no, that’s not… Lee Han, please…"
"I’ve always thought that our relationship was on a calculator ever since that time. So I was prepared to accept you whenever you came looking for me, as long as you were beneficial to the calculations I was making."
"No, it’s not about calculations—I came to apologize… I just wanted to beg for forgiveness."
"Claire. Where did that arrogance go when I asked you to reconsider back then? Were you really just this weak? Weak enough to cling to the person you condemned to death just because you’re sick?"
"Th-that’s…!"
Claire trembled violently.
Tears welled up in her eyes once more as she desperately looked at him.
What a letdown.
There was nothing to gain from this overly emotional Claire, nothing left of the sharpness she once had.
However,
She had already fulfilled her role by informing him about the right time to attack the Seven Kill Squad.
"But Lee Han…"
Lloyd sighed as he looked at Claire, who still clung to false hope.
"Go back, Claire. There’s nothing I can do for you."
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HELHEIM SCANS
[Translator - Peptobismol]
[Proofreader - Demon God]
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