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HEL SCANS
[Translator – Peptobismol]
[Proofreader – Demon God]
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Chapter 19 – How to Counter an Elf’s Kyoto-Style Speech (1)
Sitting by the window of my office, I enjoyed the morning sunlight while chewing on some jerky.
This was lamb jerky, a gift from Waver. After I told him how much I liked the jerky he gave me during the last night infiltration class, he brought me a whole basket.
“Head Combat Professor, it’s time for the Imperial Regular Report Writing Meeting.”
One of the Combat Department’s assistants entered as the office door opened.
The Imperial Regular Report.
The academy regularly reports its operational status and any notable incidents to the Imperial Security Office.
While the Imperial Palace doesn’t tightly control the academy, most of the discretion and authority lie with the academy itself.
However, since the academy trains agents for the Empire, the Imperial Palace needs to stay informed and intervene if necessary.
“Alright, I’ll be there after I finish this.”
I stuffed the half-eaten lamb jerky into my mouth and wiped my greasy fingers on my cloak before standing up from the chair.
I put another piece of jerky in my pocket to snack on later.
As I walked down the corridor chewing on the jerky, I saw someone standing in front of the headmaster’s office.
An elf with a height almost as tall as a man, glowing blonde hair, and long ears. She radiated an elegance and beauty that couldn’t be described in words. It was Ismera, the Head Theory Professor.
“Good morning, Professor.”
“Ah, Professor Dian. You arrived just in time…”
She trailed off when she saw me chewing the jerky like it was gum.
It was as if she was trying hard to suppress the deep-seated contempt she felt from witnessing what she considered a vulgar act.
Elves always wore gentle smiles on their faces, but you could never know what they were truly thinking. They were a sly race that considered themselves noble and superior, living in their secluded forests and often looking down on other races.
Especially during the Duke’s visit last time, Ismera seemed particularly inclined to such behavior. Her smiling, indirect insults reminded me of people from Kyoto…
# # # # #
Ismera, the Head Theory Professor, walked gracefully through the academy. She was on her way to attend the Imperial Regular Report Writing Meeting.
“Good morning, Professor.”
“Good morning. Have a nice day.”
Smiling at the students and staff who greeted her, Ismera thought about the upcoming meeting.
The regular report to the Imperial Palace included sensitive information, so only the headmaster and the two head professors attended. Coincidentally, both the headmaster and the Head Combat Professor were people Ismera disliked.
She had always harbored animosity towards Headmaster Kirrin, and she recently began to hate Dian because he had ruined her grand plan.
Ismera’s grand plan was for the Duke, angry about the Knightley incident, to overturn the academy, and for the Imperial Palace to use this as a pretext to dismiss Kirlin, appointing her as headmaster.
But unexpectedly, Dian had flaunted his connection with the Duke, and the situation had ended very positively. Kirlin remained in place, and Dian’s reputation within the academy soared.
Maybe Professor Dian also became the Head Combat Professor through connections? It was hard to believe that such an unimpressive human, with no notable career, held such a significant position.
The idea that a scrawny man with a wooden sword could have an appropriate background to be Head Combat Professor was difficult to accept, especially compared to the burly, older Professor Morton or the brutish orc professor from the Combat Department.
Standing in front of the headmaster’s office, Ismera bit her lip and raised her eyes.
It was unfair.
While some lost their forest and had to study for ten years in a foreign place, struggling to become a head professor, others enjoyed luxury and privilege due to their family connections.
“Good morning, Head Theory Professor.”
At that moment, an all-too-familiar voice called out from the other side. It was Head Combat Professor Dian.
“Ah, Professor Dian. You arrived just in time…”
Seeing him chewing on something, Ismera trailed off, forcing a smile.
What on earth is he doing? Eating while walking? How unsophisticated.
“What are you eating so deliciously? Seeing you enjoy it might make the headmaster and me hungry early.”
It was a sophisticated way of saying, “Don’t walk around eating like a commoner.”
Elves, considering themselves noble, often spoke this way, but Ismera was particularly adept at it.
This was her survival method, having lost her home and tribe and been thrown into the unfamiliar human society.
As a proud elf, bowing her head entirely was out of the question, so her compromise was to deliver veiled insults with a smile.
“Oh, this? It’s lamb jerky. Professor Waver gave it to me. He made it himself, and it’s really tasty.”
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HEL SCANS
[Translator – Peptobismol]
[Proofreader – Demon God]
Join our Discord for release updates!
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Dian answered cheerfully, smiling brightly.
I don’t care what it is, human. Ismera returned his smile politely.
“I see. It seems Professor Waver is continuing the famous hunting tradition of Quirana. It’s probably thanks to the favorable conditions you provide as the Head Combat Professor.”
Meaning: “Is your department so idle that professors have time to make jerky?”
“That’s why I can enjoy this delicious jerky. I heard it’s his hobby to make and give it as gifts. Hasn’t he given you any, Professor Ismera?”
“I hope I get the chance to taste it someday.”
“Someday.” Meaning: “I will never eat such a thing.”
Most people use this phrase as a polite expression, so Dian should understand it.
“Really? I happened to bring some. Would you like to try it?”
Suddenly pulling jerky from his pocket, Dian almost made Ismera lose her composure.
“Thank you, but I just had breakfast, so I’m afraid I can’t… (Absolutely not!)”
“Then have it later when you’re feeling peckish. Here, take it.”
Ignoring her refusal, Dian stuffed the jerky into her robe pocket.
“If you like it, let me know. I’ll ask Professor Waver to make some for you. Once you taste it, it’s hard to stop.”
“I appreciate the offer, but I wouldn’t want to burden Professor Waver… (I don’t want that primitive food!)”
Then Dian waved his hands.
“No, no. Like I said, Waver enjoys giving these as gifts. He’ll be thrilled. Burp, sorry.”
As Dian burped, Ismera’s eyelid twitched slightly.
“Shall we go in then? The headmaster will be pleased to see you join us. (You’ve made us late with your foolishness.)”
“Hehe, shall we? Well, I have been working hard lately.”
Dian laughed and shrugged his shoulders, completely oblivious. How could a person be so clueless?
Feeling a slight sense of frustration akin to indigestion, Ismera opened the door to the headmaster’s office and walked in.
“Ah! Welcome, Dian!”
Headmaster Kirrin, buried in a pile of documents, looked up with a delighted expression.
“And… Professor Ismera…”
The brightness in Kirlin’s voice as she greeted Dian quickly diminished when she addressed Ismera.
Looking at the precarious stack of documents on Kirlin’s desk, Ismera gave a bewitching smile that could steal one’s soul.
“It’s impressive and admirable to see you working tirelessly for the academy’s progress, headmaster. (Try organizing your desk once in a while.)”
“Well, it’s my duty as the headmaster… Thank you for the encouragement, Professor Ismera.”
Kirlin laughed awkwardly, while Ismera cursed inwardly. That dumb Dark Elf doesn’t get it at all.
“Please, have a seat. I’ll get some tea.”
After sipping the tea brought by the administrative director, Ismera smiled.
“This tea has a rather interesting flavor. (It tastes awful.)”
“Really? It’s the tea I enjoyed while studying at the public academy. It’s supposed to clear the mind.”
“Such a property is indeed fascinating. It must have helped you graduate with excellent grades. (What nonsense. A mediocre public academy graduate boasting about nothing.)”
“If you need some, I’ll have the administrative director give you a few packets. Being a head professor is tiring, so it might help.”
“Maybe someday I’ll get to experience that clear-minded feeling. (I don’t need it.)”
However, Kirlin didn’t understand and cheerfully instructed the administrative director to give Ismera the remaining tea packets after the meeting, forcing her to thank him with a strained smile.
These people have no sense of nuance at all….
The headmaster and head professors sat around the conference table to discuss the contents of the regular report to the Imperial Palace.
The main focus of this quarter’s report was the restructuring of the Combat Department.
Dian reported on the current affairs related to the Combat Department.
“We’ve increased the practical component of all combat courses to over 80%. We’ve also revised and updated the training plans accordingly.”
“Hmm…”
Kirlin took notes on the report with an ink pen. Her round and neat handwriting was unexpectedly delicate for a Dark Elf.
But Ismera’s gaze at Kirlin’s writing was filled with disdain, as if looking at a wriggling insect.
“The headmaster’s handwriting transcends generations. (Why does an adult’s handwriting look so childish?)”
“Wow, your handwriting is adorable.”
Dian glanced at Kirlin’s writing and complimented it, causing Kirlin’s face to flush dark red.
“Headmaster, do all Dark Elves have such pretty handwriting? (I can see the level of you uncultured Dark Elves.)”
“Not really. I practiced it at the public academy. I always thought it wasn’t great, but if both of you like it, I’m a bit embarrassed.”
“I don’t know much about public academies, but it sounds like a wonderful place. (A garbage academy where they only practice handwriting?)”
“Do you really think so, Professor Ismera? That’s a relief. I was worried you might look down on me for my educational background.”
At this point, Ismera wondered if she really was suffering from indigestion. Why can’t they understand a thing?!
Gathering her scattered thoughts, Ismera smiled and spoke.
“Of course not, headmaster. Although we’ve walked different paths, we’re both doing the rewarding work of teaching students here at the academy. (Obviously, you and I are worlds apart. Don’t think we’re equals just because we work at the same school.)”
“Wow–!”
Dian clapped his hands in admiration.
“As expected of Professor Ismera! Your noble appearance matches the brilliance of your thoughts. Truly, elves are remarkable!”
“No… That’s not what I meant…”
Feeling a sudden dizziness, Professor Ismera stuttered.
[TL/N: Kyoto-style speech refers to the Japanese Kyoto dialect/accent. Kyoto people, especially from the inner city, are masters of passive-agressiveness tatemae.]
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HEL SCANS
[Translator – Peptobismol]
[Proofreader – Demon God]
Join our Discord for release updates!
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